Resource I

"Working on improving your own behaviors should be an integral part of your own personal quality management," says Thomas Weegen, managing director of Coverdale, Munich, an international consultancy specializing in collaboration development. And his rationale for this advice? "Tension, nervousness and subliminal impatience determine the atmosphere in professional situations much more than in the past. Those who allow themselves to be captivated by this mixture of emotions and to be controlled in their appearance and approach undermine their power of persuasion and effectiveness."

Keeping a good grip on oneself

"If I have patience with a momentary trouble, I can save myself worries for a hundred years", an old Chinese proverb already admonishes. A wise sentence, since it refers to the benefit of an ability that has become recognizably deficient: the ability to steer surging impulses and thus to find oneself in challenging situations.

Behave sovereignly

to be able to behave a little more calmly and sovereignly in the moments that arise. But how do you manage to control yourself in this way and thus make yourself more effective, to take the edge off attacks, to put the brakes on unfair behaviour and to signal: "I won't let you upset me that easily!

"Well," smiles Professor Jürg Frick, a developmental psychologist and psychological consultant in Zurich, "it's actually quite simple, you have to want it and work on yourself accordingly!" Surely one of the "secrets" of level-headed and confident people is their strong willpower and willingness to self-restrain. Another is their power of observation. For it is also immensely helpful to observe people who behave in a recognizably confident manner, to orientate oneself on them and to learn from them.

In the silence lies the power

What do corresponding observations show? What distinguishes prudent and confident people from others? What is striking about them? Most of all, they do not show any situational aggressiveness. The same is true for their calming calmness, which radiates to their surroundings. Compared to others, they simply remain friendly. And if they are more explicit in their rejection of any insolence, they usually manage to do so "with a quiet, disarming smile on their lips, without appearing arrogant or mocking," says Alfred Kirchmayr, a Viennese professor and therapist who studies the types and effects of laughter and humor intensively.

These are all behaviors that point to self-contained, reflected personalities who are devoid of any spontaneous rivalry thinking and behavior. And to an unobtrusive independence in thinking and judging, to intellectual independence. Which nevertheless, but still unmistakably signal: You don't need to work on me! "If you want a splendid example of the beautiful phrase, 'In tranquility lies strength!' here you have it," says Frick. People who behave this way come across as level-headed and confident toward others, de-escalating, relaxing, inspiring confidence. They usually succeed in building a bridge of credibility to the other person.

Maintaining credibility

and to manoeuvre a relationship constellation of any kind out of the immediate danger zone and to stabilise it.

Working on this, not letting oneself be blindly caught up in a situation, carried along and carried away, and letting one's own behavior be predetermined, "doing this work on the part of superiors and employees alike" would, according to cooperation expert Weegen, "make a good part of the burnout discussion quite quickly superfluous!"

Gain load resistance

Hans Eberspächer, an experienced Olympic coach for top athletes and managers and professor emeritus of sports psychology at the University of Heidelberg, agrees from the perspective of competitive sports: "Being able to behave in a level-headed and confident manner has to do above all with being good when it counts, i.e. being able to control and organise oneself in a way that is appropriate to the goal, situation and requirements. »

Those who can withstand such stress ensure "situational impartiality and the necessary safe distance from everything that challenges, irritates or immediately causes annoyance at the moment". It therefore offers "the guarantee that" one will neither be misled nor mislead oneself and thus contributes to not becoming "the helpless plaything of situational circumstances". Eberspächer: "You probably have no idea how many people stand in their own way and deprive themselves of achievable successes because they can hardly or not at all control and organize themselves in a way that is appropriate to the goal, situation and requirements!" Or as Weegen puts it, "Behavioral skills as a building block for success are not only underestimated in a way that is actually incomprehensible, but almost simply ignored."

When nerves are on edge ...

Therefore, it is "really no wonder how few really succeed in not falling out of character in critical situations". And yet, against the backdrop of a noticeably tense working atmosphere, the ability to behave in a winning manner is one of the best personal recommendations, both internally and externally! And at the same time, it's the best insurance against what is not infrequently heard in the workplace today: "I'm about to lose it!

"Nerves that are often on edge are now part of everyday working life," says Hans Eberspächer, an experienced expert in mind control, succinctly. One can complain about it and look for the culprits. This is eagerly done, but, as all experience shows, "nothing, absolutely nothing!

So it is probably much more sensible to have oneself under control and in control, to be able to

Do not become a pawn

not to be provoked, to be tempted and carried away by thoughtless actions and statements, and in doing so not to damage oneself or others. If this insight and this effort "were to prevail just a little more, a rein would be put on one of the most considerable but most ignored cost factors: interpersonal friction losses," Weegen points out.

Eberspächer gets to the heart of the matter by working on one's own behaviour: "Our most important resource is ourselves. Resource I. Only systematic and consistent work on ourselves makes us fit for requirements, fit for life. It is a matter of tapping and using the resource I so economically that we are able to act optimally - even under the highest demands and stress - precisely when it matters. »